"A LETTER TO GOD"

Its hazy, complex and frightful to even replicate my thoughts in words.A novice blend of haphazard reality and fantasy ransacks every nook of my head.Where am I heading,where is the life of mine leading me to.I've had my share of pain, shame and tears played my gamble as a princess on the throne .Nostalgia sweeps my blood red scar tissue, to all the infamy my young heart has faced,when my heart felt within as 1000 kgs heavy, crashing me down dead.Only the thought of you made me recover the trumatic-blast.You knew i'd err, you knew how i treasured my family,how insatietably i craved the best for us,wanting the best for my baby it may be abominal in your sight,but am i not your child.Did'nt the thought,i would be lost without my family even arise from the corner of your mind,you never attempted even a bit to save my family.I've done things you've detested,but as soon as the thought it would hurt you sprouted out,i've given it all up.I love you so much and have also understood the limits of our sacrifice to save my soul,but i give up to flesh and mundane pleasures at times.The reprimand that you have granted me is beyond my ability to cope.I've cried to you, to succumb me from me from this prevalent misery over years now,but no remedy has propped from your behalf.Though certainly i've reaped sucess in many other ventures in this span relatively,but concerning this one issue my pangs choke me bitterly.I dont know your plan in this matter,neither see any future of mine lurked behind the scenes,Its your hands that i look upon in this travailing situation.My only hope from where my help comes is you,aid me deliverance ,happiness and guidance at this state,coz i trust you and do things what you want.Please abide by me till end.