An absolute eclipse of a mélange of feelings busted my heart into pieces, when he declared all was over. Poignant memories surrounded everything I gazed into, broken by the awe of the herald; my senses stood mime for long. All I could do was, to wipe away my pain with tears which rolled endlessly down my cheek .My mind pondered for days, what went stale? , is it all real or am I just dreaming. Nostalgia and grief captivated my hemispheres to neither rationalize nor decide, on any productive measures.
It was a union which I craved to last forever; it was a collection of bliss which I never intended to part with. In a flip, it was all gone, dead never to be revived. Can I bring it to life? Can I do something to help? Will it fructify? Were all questions, which soared up in my yearning heart? .Then I acquired all the hidden guts from within to make my
nascent move to know the truth.
Painful and rather detesting truths were unveiled, which demanded all the more courage to face. Septic conflicts boiled in me to call it off or keep it going, as the line between love and hate is thin, I had no choice of salvage. The travail was no less, a hell to play with. If it was infidelity, I’d understand he’s just a man, if it was a torn heart, I’ll try my best to mend, but this is was titan than these .A complete breakdown of trust can I say!!,sounds too mushy does it?.............
Now, the moment has come to confront, it quickened all my latent bitterness. With a one year-old babe clenching my fist, calling out mom hatred could do nothing much. Motherhood beckoned me louder than the ruthless lover; its cries defined my existence better than ever. I strengthened myself and began my fresh start with all the confidence. The span has taught me, that this love could be so unconditional, pure and un-ravished.
All it took to surpass such an ordeal was, to remain calm and have a closer introspection of my priorities, to renew my avid ears to the reality “nothing last forever”. The scrutiny threw oblivion to the overwhelming fact, “none is so indispensable, without which I can’t go on”. This circumstance of uncertainty made me stronger to shriek out the mendacious feebleness, which lay has a cloak. It was intensely traumatic to resolve, but an exile which cracked my nutshell.
It was a union which I craved to last forever; it was a collection of bliss which I never intended to part with. In a flip, it was all gone, dead never to be revived. Can I bring it to life? Can I do something to help? Will it fructify? Were all questions, which soared up in my yearning heart? .Then I acquired all the hidden guts from within to make my
nascent move to know the truth.Painful and rather detesting truths were unveiled, which demanded all the more courage to face. Septic conflicts boiled in me to call it off or keep it going, as the line between love and hate is thin, I had no choice of salvage. The travail was no less, a hell to play with. If it was infidelity, I’d understand he’s just a man, if it was a torn heart, I’ll try my best to mend, but this is was titan than these .A complete breakdown of trust can I say!!,sounds too mushy does it?.............
Now, the moment has come to confront, it quickened all my latent bitterness. With a one year-old babe clenching my fist, calling out mom hatred could do nothing much. Motherhood beckoned me louder than the ruthless lover; its cries defined my existence better than ever. I strengthened myself and began my fresh start with all the confidence. The span has taught me, that this love could be so unconditional, pure and un-ravished.
All it took to surpass such an ordeal was, to remain calm and have a closer introspection of my priorities, to renew my avid ears to the reality “nothing last forever”. The scrutiny threw oblivion to the overwhelming fact, “none is so indispensable, without which I can’t go on”. This circumstance of uncertainty made me stronger to shriek out the mendacious feebleness, which lay has a cloak. It was intensely traumatic to resolve, but an exile which cracked my nutshell.
this pic is very apt!!! but i get reminded of our tamil movies scenes seeing this pic..... you have shown great courage expressing emotions. please make this picture smaller..is the size of it proportionate to problems...
ReplyDeleteAnd to know that a smooth sea never made a sailor skillful reminds me of that wonderful text of Jeremiah 12:5 "If you have run with footmen and they have tired you out,Then how can you compete with horses?If you fall down in a land of peace,
ReplyDeleteHow will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?
Dint i say the word of God makes the most feeble tougher than the strongest in the world.? yes it surely does